HDWN? In a world that’s so connected, why do I feel unknown?

For better or worse, we live in a time of constant consumption, constant communication, and constant connection. Boomers and Gen X can remember a time when the world wasn’t so connected. Millennials and Gen Z grew up with one foot in the door and one foot out; we did not experience total connection through technology until puberty or later. Gen Alpha has never known a “disconnected” world.

With the touch of a few buttons, we’re flooded with more information than any one mind can effectively handle. “Did you see their engagement announcement? Did you see where they went on vacation? Did you see those horrible comments? Did you see the latest report on the Middle East? Did you see that skincare ad? Wait a minute, I never even talked about that product out loud. Hang on, they just posted they’re expecting a baby!”

Is it called the World Wide Web because we’re connected by it, or because we’re caught in it?

The first time I read through the Gospels, I was amazed at the crowds that always surrounded Jesus. I can only imagine how many thousands of people sat in awe while Jesus taught during the Sermon on the Mount. I still think of how wild it was that Jesus fed 5,000 people (plus a few more thousand when you add women and children) with 5 loaves and 2 fish. Throughout the Gospels, we’re given multiple accounts of Jesus healing multitudes. As someone who felt called into ministry, this seemed like a greenlight: go out to the tens and hundreds and thousands, make connections, and share the love of Christ. The most logical way to do this? Social media!

There I went, creating a TikTok account, logging back into Instagram and Facebook, and diving back into my phone. For a while, things were great! I built up my following, I was sharing positive messages, and I felt like I was really building online connections. It seemed like I was truly making an impact digitally. My soul was on fire for the Lord, and my fingers blazed as they typed blog posts, edited TikToks, and replied to comments and messages.

I can’t pinpoint when things changed; I can only tell you that they did, in fact, change.

Over the course of time, it became less about what I was saying online and more about how it was being perceived. Why didn’t this video get views? Why didn’t this post get likes? Where are the comments? Is this not enough? Am I not enough?

The soul that was set ablaze for the Lord, slowly but surely, started to dim. It shrank until it was nothing but a pile of ash and embers, ready to be scattered by the wind. I was left with one lonesome question:

Logically speaking, it doesn’t make sense. Take a moment to check your follower count on social media. More than likely, you have hundreds or thousands followers/friends. You’re seeing each other, quite literally, all the time; the average American spends 6 hours and 40 minutes looking at their screens. If I’m being honest, I think I’ve checked my phone at least 11 times (and counting) while writing this post alone. 

If you’re reading this, I would bet that you have felt this way or are feeling this way now. No matter how many comments, likes, or views you get, there is still a yearning for something more. There is a longing to be seen, and known, and loved fully and completely, without fear of rejection. Yet, to fill this longing seems impossible, especially considering we place our value in something as fluid, as inconsistent, as “social media currency” (likes, views, and comments). 

What happens when we build houses on the sand? As the grains are ever shifting under the house, the structural integrity of our homes decay. When the rivers, waves, and wind rise, the houses are swept away with a great crash. In Matthew 7:26-27, we read:

Let’s break this down. In your time on this earth, you get to build a life for yourself. Because God is truly gracious and loving, He gives you freewill on deciding how you’ll build this life and where you’ll find your identity. You can build on the sand, or you can build on the rock.

Obviously, you wouldn’t be reading this post had I not built a house on a sandy shore. You wouldn’t be reading this post had everything not collapsed in a great crash. And you definitely wouldn’t be reading this post had I not (finally) built a house on the rock.

So how do we do this? How do we build a house on solid ground? How do we find an identity so firmly rooted that when waves and winds rise and pound against the house, it doesn’t cave in on itself? 

How do I build a house on solid ground? 

I reread the Gospels, with eager eyes, looking for a way to start construction. In Luke, there are a number of accounts where Jesus was in the middle of crowds healing, and teaching, and making the devil shake in his boots. But in Luke 5:16, we read

Jesus was in crowds and connecting with thousands, yet He didn’t let them inform His identity. And for good measure - the crowds that praised “Hosanna! Hosanna!” on Palm Sunday were the same crowds that spat at Him and mocked Him on Good Friday. That’s how quickly the whims of the world can change. The words of the world are nothing but shifting sands. One day you are praised, the next you are condemned. One day you are the center of attention, the next you are forgotten. One day you are revered, the next you are despised. That’s the way of the world, changing on a dime. We see this through our screens so often that we’ve become devastatingly desensitized to it…. That is unless it affects us personally. We let a world that can’t decide right from wrong, left from right, cancelled from celebrated tell us who we are. Come on, how much sense does that make? 

Those crowds didn’t tell Jesus who He was; He told the crowds who He was. Who told Him who He was? The answer comes from Matthew 3:16-17:

Jesus received his identity from a consistently loving, constantly encouraging, never-changing God! Jesus wasn’t just going into the wilderness because He wasn’t a people person - He was going to the wilderness to reconnect with the God who knew Him, who saw Him, and who loved him more than the crowds ever could. He went into the wilderness to declare that no matter what the Pharisees, the Romans, the Jews, or the Gentiles said about Him, His identity came from the God who created Him with purpose.

You might be thinking, “Well Kennedy, Jesus was God’s son… duh, God claimed Him.” Excuse me, my brothers and sisters in Christ… HE SAYS THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU. Here’s how we can build a house on the rock:

#1: Recognize the gift God longs to give you. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

There is no good work you can do to earn the gift of salvation. There is no mistake you can make to have this gift revoked. A gift is something that is given willingly to someone without the expectation of repayment. This is exactly what Jesus did for us on the cross; I like to think that the harder the cross was to bear, the more clearly He saw our faces. In 2 Corinthians 5:21, Paul writes, “He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” Jesus - a perfect man who had never known or committed any sin - faced every trial and temptation up until death on the cross, so that WE would become the righteousness of God. He did this knowing we could never do enough or be enough to repay. What a gift… and all for you!

#2. Know you are a child of God. (John 11:11-13)

It doesn’t matter where you’re from, what you’ve been through, or what the world has to say about you. Because Jesus took on your sin and bore the cross for you, you have the right to identify as a child of God. Nothing can stop this - not the will of your own flesh or the will of other men - because it is the will of God. Just as God looked upon His son Jesus and proclaimed, “This is my beloved son with whom I’m well pleased,” he longs to declare the same over us. We need only to receive the gift & receive the right to be God’s children. 

#3: Set your eyes on the things above. (Colossians 3:1-3)

Our phones are designed to be addictive. According to The Social Dilemma, the very colors of our apps are designed to keep our eyes locked on our screens. Bright and vivid, they make the real world look dull and boring. Where your eyes are is where your mind is.  Here’s the catch - through our phones, we’re listening to and seeing things that aren’t rooted in reality and that are most definitely inconsistent. But when we lift our eyes up to see God, we find that God is already looking at us. In Genesis, a young Egyptian slave runs off into the wilderness with her small child to escape shame and cruelty. As she cries for herself and her child, near death, she has an encounter with God. In Genesis 16, we read, “So she named the Lord who spoke to her: “You are El-roi,” for she said, “In this place, have I actually seen the one who sees me?”” In Hebrew, El Roi can be translated into “the God who sees me.” If you’ve ever locked eyes with someone you love, you’ll know the feeling of being seen. How much stronger is the love of God? When we set our eyes on Him, we’re reminded of His love and our worth.

#4: Remember what God says about you. (Romans 8:1-2)

It’s easy to read a comment or watch a video and let those words and ideas inform your identity. When the noise of the world gets too loud, when the weight becomes too heavy, we have to remember the words of God. “For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” There is no condemnation in Christ. Even the most seasoned Christian has to remind themselves of these words. He knows you - every mistake, every good deed, every hair on your head - and does not raise His hand, but opens His arms. There is nothing you can do to stop God from loving you - regardless of what wavering affection you receive from the world.

Understanding this can be your first step on solid ground. Matthew 7:24-25 reads:

Am I saying to throw your phone in a river? Absolutely not. We were made for such a time as this - to be able to connect with so many people and to share the light of Christ through the internet. In John 14:12, Jesus tells us that we will do even greater things than He did; imagine how many people that could be reached through a social media account fueled and fired by faith! What if your Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok would be the 5 loaves and 2 fish that fed the thousands? We just have to remember that Jesus didn’t find His identity in the shifting words of the crowd, but from consistent time with God in the wilderness. As you begin to burn out, the hands of God will cover you and carefully breathe life to the embers and rekindle a flame. When the waves and winds pound against the house, when the world wide web becomes too sticky, when you feel connected yet alone, understand that you are known to God. 

Known, loved, seen, heard. Not through a screen, but within your innermost soul.