HDWN? Keep dreaming, Chad!

Happy Tuesday! I can’t speak for y’all, but all I can say is THANK YOU JESUS I GOT THROUGH MONDAY! Whew!

Last week, we found out that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego all new Daniel - the Judahite Boyz were all brought to Babylon for training to assist the Babylonian king, King Nebuchadnezzar (King Chad).

This week, we’re diving into King Chad’s subconscious like it’s your grandma’s swimming pool on a hot Sunday. Let’s go!

It’s the second year of King Chad’s reign… and let’s just say that the stress might be getting to him. Either that, or the guy is eating an “Augustus Gloop falls into a chocolate river” amount of chocolate before bed. Sleep has deserted the guy. He’s been having… troubling… dreams that he just can’t figure out the meaning of. You know what happens when you don’t get good rest? You get cranky, and you get cranky quick. Cranky King Chad calls for every last one of the kingdom’s magicians, mediums, sorcerers, and Chaldeans to interpret these dreams. (Side note - the Chaldeans were a people known for their warlike personalities and their intelligence in concern to math and the stars…most likely, King Chad is calling on a specific group of elite Chaldean advisors.) King Chad calls them all to stand in front of him and says, “Magic men! Tell me my dreams. No context given… oh, and I’m pretty anxious about all this, so chop chop” (Daniel 2:1-3).

So imagine this… you’re one of these “magic men”, right? And you’re standing in front of a king who’s known to be a firecracker. OH! And he’s literally asking you to TELL HIM HIS OWN DREAMS. And did I mention that he’s been known to like… kill people impulsively? A lot is on the line here.

The Chaldeans speak to the king - arms weak, knees heavy, and what’s about to be on their sweaters? Oh yeah, mom’s spaghetti. These dudes are scared straight. Their solution? Flattery… and then a bargain. “Long live King Chad! Tell us the dream, and we’ll give you the interpretation for free” (Daniel 2:4).

King Chad replies in his usual gentle manner… “If you don’t tell me the dream and its interpretation… I will have you ripped limb from limb. And on top of that, I will  turn your houses into actual heaps of hot garbage. Period. End of story. But, if you tell me the dream and the interpretation, I’ll give you gifts! You’ll receive rewards and honors! So reveal it to me. NOW” (Daniel 2:5-6).

So the magic men ask a second time… because they must have a death wish. “Come on, K. Chad, give us something to work with. Tell us the dream, and we’ll interpret it for you!” (Daniel 2:7).

At this point, Cranky Chad is turning into Testy Chad. The Chaldeans are really trying to cook in the kitchen, but King Chad is like, “I don’t want y’all to simmer this on the stove - zap it in the microwave! No time to cook.” So he replies to the Chaldeans, “Listen boys… I see your game, k? Y’all are out here trying to buy time like it’s 1999 and you can buy minutes for a Motorola. It. Ain’t. Happening. If you don’t tell me this daggum dream, you know what’s gonna happen. I done know y’all were gonna try to pull one over on me… so you tell me what my own dream was, and then I’ll know you can give me an interpretation of it” (Daniel 2:8-9).

So the Chaldeans at this point are backed into a corner. “Brother, no man on earth is gonna be able to tell you your own dream. And you know what? No king, however great or powerful, has n-e-v-e-r asked anything like this from any of us! You know the only answers you’re gonna get are gonna be from the gods, because you ain’t getting it from a mortal man - that’s for sure” (Daniel 2:10-11).

King Chad is LIVID. ENRAGED. VIOLENTLY AGGRESSIVE. The man is FERAL. What does he do? He gives out an order to kill alllllllllllllll the wise men in Babylon. Wax on, wax  off, wiped out. So, this decree is given, and who do the authorities go looking for? Well, of course, the divinely wise Daniel and his friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 2:12-13).

The king’s guard, Arioch, sets out to find Daniel and the Judahite Boyz and - for lack of a better word - vanquish them off of the face of the earth. But Daniel responds with “tact and discretion” to Arioch once the guard catches up to him. Daniel looks at the king’s guard and says, “BRO. Why is Chad being so harsh right now? Between me and you…” The king’s guard goes on to fill Daniel in on all of the drama - the dreams, the Chaldeans, the “I’ll turn your house into a hot pile of garbage” - everything. After they spilled every last drop of tea, Daniel goes to the king and asks for just a bit more time, so that he himself can give an interpretation of the dream to the cranky, cranky king (Daniel 2:14-16).

Daniel goes home and calls a Judahite Boyz meeting - Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah beg God to give them mercy so that they won’t all be wiped off the face of the earth like a cicada freshly splat on a newly washed windshield. A vision was revealed to Daniel, and he hoops and hollers in praise saying:

Daniel rushes back to the king’s guard. “BRO BRO BRO!!!! I got a HUGE download from the  Lord last night - don’t destroy the wise men, just bring me to the king, and I’ll tell him all about his dream” (Daniel 2:17-24). Arioch BOLTS back to the king and says, “You’re majesty, one of the Judahite Boyz can tell you what’s up” (Daniel 2:25).

The king replies to Daniel, “So… you gonna tell me the dream and the interpretation, or what?” (Daniel 2:26). Daniel decides he’s gonna be stone-cold Steve Austin here, and get stone-cold  honest with the king. He says, “Man, no wise guy, magician, medium, or witchy-woo voo-doo is going to be able to make this dream known. BIG BUT - there is a God (capital G) in heaven who reveals all kinds of mysteries… and you’re in luck! He has let you,King CHad, know what will happen in the last days. Let me tell you what I know that you already know - your dreams, big dog. While you were trying to count sheep, thoughts came to your mind about the future. Now listen dude, I don’t know this because I have more wisdom than anyone living,okay? I just got a download from God, so that you might know what’s up. All Him, not me” (Daniel 2:27-30).

Daniel continues, “Yo majesty, in your dreams, a colossal statue appears. Like GINORMOUS. It’s tall, dazzling, and pee-your-pants terrifying. The head was pure gold. The chest and arms? Silver. Its stomach and thighs are bronze (and not just because of a spray tan, but like actual metal). Its legs are iron (because this statue never skips leg day). It’s feet? Partially iron and partially clay. So, King Chad, you’re sitting there staring at this statue, and a stone breaks off without a hand or anything touching it. This stone strikes the feet of the statue… and because the feet were partially iron and fired clay, the stone CRUSHED them. And you know what happens once the feet go… the iron, the bronze, the silver, the gold all TOPPLE and SHATTER, dude. The wind swooshes and carries everything away until there isn’t a speck of the statue left. The stone that struck the statue becomes a mountain and fills the whole earth (Daniel 2:31-35).”

Guess what guys? Daniel’s only accomplished half of the task… he still has to interpret this statue ordeal. He keeps going:

“This is the dream, big dog. Get ready for the interpretation. King Chad, you’re the king of kings. The God of heaven has given you sovereignty, power, strength, and glory. Wherever  people live - or wild animals and birds of the sky  - He has handed them over to you and made you the ruler of all. You are the head of gold. After you, a second and third kingdom will arise, each inferior to the last (i.e. silver, then bronze). The fourth kingdom will crush everything, as iron smashes everything. You’ve done seen the toes… the last kingdom will be a divided kingdom, but it will have some of the strength of the iron; the people will mix, but they won’t hold together. In the days of those kings, the God of the heavens will set up a kingdom that will never be destroyed, and this kingdom won’t be left to another people. It will crush all other kingdoms, but it itself will endure forever. You saw the stone - how it broke without anything touching it, and how it shattered every other kingdom. The great God has told you what’s gonna happen, big dog. You know I’m telling the truth here” (Daniel 2:36-45).

How does the hot-headed, dramatic, sleeplessly cranky King Chad respond? He falls facedown and worships Daniel. He immediately gives orders to present an offering and incense to him. King Chad tells Daniel, “Your God… bro, that’s the God of gods, Lord of kings, revealer of mysteries… because you revealed His mystery.” King Chad gives Daniel a promotion (woo!) and gives him many generous gifts (double woo!). He makes Daniel the ruler over an entire province of Babylon and  the chief governor over all the wise men of Babylon. Daniel, being the awesome friend that he is, asks that Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego manage a province as well. Daniel remains at the king’s court, awaiting further instruction… (Daniel 2:46-49).

And that’s where we’ll leave off until next week! I hope you have a fantastic week! This blog is for the glory of God and for your encouragement! Hopefully, you have more peaceful dreams than King Chad this week, haha!

See ya soon!